Why I don't want equality because I'm your sister, wife or mother


Contrary to feminist stereotypes, I believe that the vast majority of men want gender equality. In the 21st century, it would be hard to find a
man in the western world who does not think that women should have basic rights to vote, own property, have a career, not be sexually harassed in that career, and so on.


The issue arises where men are under educated about the inequalities that persist, not where men do not want equality. For example, a man might think that he and his female colleague have the same career trajectory in work. Due to privilege and ignorance being bliss, he might not have considered yet the impact of the five years the woman would have to take off work, or slow down her work progress, if she were to have a child. He might even say that she doesn't have to have a child - no one is forcing her to sacrifice her career for family - without really thinking about how unequal it is that the woman is supposed to feel lucky that she gets a choice between career and family, when he - by default gender role - doesn't have to make the choice. He can have both while his wife spends six months in her pjs after giving birth.

Aside from a lack of societal awareness about hidden sexisms, which isn't really the fault of modern men, there is a lack of understanding about the way to achieve gender equality. It's as though women woke up one day and gave in to the fact that they couldn't do this their own way - they needed men. And so, they made the general marketing of gender equality and feminism more appealing to their new target male audience. They dubbed 'feminist' with terms like 'pro-diversity' in the workplace, a sphere controlled by men and where male endorsement is necessary for advancement. Further to this, women took a new approach to convincing men to fight for women's rights. In the age of the suffragettes, women who fought for equality did it because they knew in their core that they were capable of what the men were doing. They had a fundamental sense of equality that we have carried on, where we continuously strive not to be defined in relation to men.

We tell men to be feminist for the sake of their daughters, sisters, wives and mothers. By doing this, and by willingly defining ourselves in this way, we give society permission to think that the only reason we deserve equality is because we may be someone that a man cares about. We allow ourselves to be valued only in relation to what we can offer a man - and we allow men to subconsciously think this way. I should have equality - examples - because underneath all of the long hair and boobs, I am an actual human being.

I am more than a daughter, sister or girlfriend. I am more than a role which makes men think that I need some kind of protection, or that I fall automatically into a category of their possession. I want recognition and equality independent of being a woman and dependent on being a person.